Shining Like the Fireflies

It’s past midnight already when I step on the balcony. What a hot night! And spring is not even over yet. I wonder what kind of weather we will have in this summer.

No wind! None at all! I feel like half roasted meat in a low voltage oven.

I wipe the sweat from my forehead as I hear soft footsteps from behind me.

"Onii-san, what are you doing there? You are not sleeping yet?" a small voice asks.

I sigh and look at the patch of stars in a sea of clouds "Ah, Miyu-chan. I just can’t stop thinking about tomorrow."

"It’s okay, nii-san. It’s not like you won’t see Reiko-neesan again. She is just going away for two years."

"I know, but..." A lump caught my throat at the thought of her leaving.

"Then there’s nothing to be worried about, right?"

I look down and trace the wood of the deck with my finger. "Yesterday we had a chat about something. She doesn’t believe in long distance relationships. She once told me that. Reiko said that she’d be okay if I changed my mind and find a better girl while she’s away, as long as I tell her. And you know what? It was those words that made me sad and doubtful."

Miyu hugs her teddy-bear more tightly. "Will that happen, nii-san? Would you leave Reiko-neesan for another girl?"

"Of course not! But Reiko shouldn’t say that. It seems like she doesn’t trust me. If she doesn’t believe in long distance relationships, then why didn’t she just ask to breakup?"

"So you two had a fight yesterday?"

"Sort of," I nod. "I know it’s stupid to have a fight two days before her departure, but I can’t just stay quiet after she says something like that."

"Then are you still going to accompany Reiko-neesan to the airport tomorrow?"

"I will. But I don’t know how to face her."

"Nii-san, do you mind if Miyu ask you something?"

"S-sure, why suddenly ask that?"

"What made nii-san like Reiko-neesan in the first time?" Miyu asks me innocently.

I smile at the question. "Well, she’s the prettiest girl in the whole school. Everyone was trying to get her attention back then."

"Is that the only reason?"

"And, she’s a nice person; I saw her helping an old lady crossing the road once. Another time I saw her sharing her lunch to that dog that lives in the school backyard."

"Ah, you mean Kiro? That poor dog, he seems so sad after we got a new school keeper. Ojirou-san used to feed Kiro properly. But now, the new school keeper seems to neglect him."

I look at my sister and do my best to smile. "Yes, the dog’s name is Kiro, I remember Reiko told me."

"But again... is that the only reason nii-san likes Reiko-neesan?"

"Why do you keep asking that? Are you looking for a particular reason?"

"Not really. You know I adore Reiko-neesan and your relationship with her. So I want to know how it started."

"Actually I can’t really explain. You know I didn’t have any special feelings to her even when the other male students in school were trying to get her attention. We met in the photography club, and we just talked a lot during club activities."

"Yes, I remember the time when all you could talk about was her," she smiles knowingly.

"Oh, did I? Sorry."

"So your reason of choosing Reiko-neesan was not just because of her looks, right?"

"I guess I could say she’s the first person who really understands me. She’s a good listener to my boring stories; she gave me support I never had."

Miyu leans on the deck next to me. "Do you think Reiko-neesan liked you first? Or did you like her first?"

"I always want to say that I like her first... but that would be a lie. If she didn’t give me attention first, I wouldn’t have had a chance against all other boys."

"So do you know why Reiko-neesan likes you, nii-san?"

"To be honest, sometimes I wonder why."

Miyu pets her teddy and looks at the city. "There is more about you than meets the eye. I used to think that I was the only one who noticed that. But apparently Reiko-neesan came and she understood you better than I did. I sort of envy her sometimes."

"Eeh? What do you mean?"

My sister suddenly jumps and pointed at the glowing clouds in the yard. "Nii-san, look at the fireflies over there!"

"Hey, you haven’t answered me."

"They’re beautiful, aren’t they?" She cuddles her teddy-bear.

I ruffle her hair. "You always liked fireflies ever since you were little."

"Yay, you remember," she grins affectionately.

"Of course I remember."

"Really? Then tell me what did I think about them?"

"Ummm... you always believed fireflies were magical fairies."

"They are!"

"Hahaha, you still believe that? Then you’re still a child."

She pokes my chest. "That’s cruel, nii-san. I’m not a child. Fireflies are magical fairies. They can hear our wish; they will help our heart glows."

"Then did you ever have your wish came true?"

Miyu becomes quiet suddenly. "Nii-san, do you remember the time when we went to a camp and I got lost at night?"

"Yeah, you made all of us panic. Everybody was searching for you for hours."

She looks up at me with those big innocent eyes. "Then how did you find me, nii-san?"

"Uhm, I think I remembered seeing many fireflies when I searched for you; then I decided to follow them. I thought you might have gotten lost after following them, and I was right. I found you."

"I was following them and suddenly realized that I didn’t know how to get back. Then I asked the fireflies for help, and hoped you’d find me. And you did! You’re the best nii-san in the whole world!"

"You’re good at flattering me."

"Hehehe, thank you. That’s one of my specialties."

"You’re not supposed to be proud about that."

"Nii-san, you have lots of great points. You’re kind and funny; a bit romantic, but you can be mean sometimes."

"Hey hey, what’s with that mean part?"

"It may be true that Reiko-neesan saw those things in you first. But even if you were the one who start the whole thing, I’m sure she would have found out that you were different than the others anyways. So you should have more confidence in yourself, nii-san."

I put my hand on her forehead. "Whoa, you suddenly speak so differently, do you have a fever?"

"Nii-san, I think Reiko-neesan didn’t mean anything bad when she said about having doubt in long distance relationship. Can’t you see that she’s actually worried and jealous about you!"

"How come a girl like her jealous over me? I’m not even popular like she is."

"I guess Reiko-neesan is worried that another girl might come into your life and sees the good things you have too, nii-san. And she doesn’t want to lose you."

I couldn’t answer that.

"You know what, instead of getting angry, I think you supposed to give her the comfort she needs. She’s probably very sad right now," she pokes me in the arm.

Still no words come from my mouth.

"And you’re also worried about Reiko-neesan, right?"

"I guess you may be right. I didn’t think it that way."

"Sometimes, only girls can understand how other girl feels, nii-san."

"Then I’m lucky to have such a smart sister."

"Yes, you’re sooooo right, nii-san. So can I have your share of mom’s cake?"

"Absolutely not!"

"Uhhh, you’re being a meanie again."

I laugh, feeling so relieve and free somehow.

"Okay, then Miyu is going to bed now," she hugs her teddy and starts walking into the house.

"Miyu-chan..."

"Yes, nii-san?"

"Do you think she will find a better guy over there?"

"A girl’s heart won't change that easily, nii-san. Our hearts are like fireflies, shining even in the darkest nights. So you better prove her that your heart won’t change either."

I smile... "I guess I can do that."

"Then Miyu will cheer for you."

"Thank you, Miyu."

Miyu smiles as she walks inside the house. I take another look on the fireflies, and follow her off of the balcony.



Tsukasa Ryuu (c) 2005